A Lesson in How to Keep Going


As I write this post, I know it will go live on Monday 16 January, also known as Blue Monday. Supposedly the most depressing day of the year, because festivities are well and truly over, your bank account looks about as healthy as a McDonald's and the weather is really wank. I can testify that I'd styled my hair really nicely for these photos and despite forking out £17 for an umbrella (SEVENTEEN POUNDS FFS), it's still ended up looking like I haven't washed/brushed it since 2016. When's it spring again?

On top of anxiety about your finances, excess Christmas weight, and how much your heating bill will be this month, you might also be lucky enough to be experiencing an existential crisis of sorts. 'What am I doing?', 'New year hasn't really equalled a new me at all?' 'Is all this worth it?' - Hurrah, being an adult is great, isn't it?

I had a crisis/epiphany of sorts earlier this week on the day lovely tube staff decided to exercise their right to strike on what felt like the wettest day of the year (I know it's your right and that, but could you not have waited till it was a bit less damp?). If you've ever lived in London, you'll know that when the tube doesn't run, shit LITERALLY hits the fan. Roads are gridlocked, you're herded onto buses like battery farm chickens, and everyone's so totally livid about everything, not least the 2.5x surcharge on their Uber, that we're all even more intolerant than we usually are. 

My moment struck me on my journey home from work; I'd decided that rather than wait 75 buses before I could actually get on, I would just walk from Soho to Kennington (which is about an hour on foot), then hop on the Northern line there on a reduced service. This could have been a semi-pleasant stroll, had it not been for the pissing rain, and when I say pissing, I mean it was really going for it. Like the kind where it feels like it's assaulting your face. I got to Westminster bridge before losing my rag - my paper bag carrying my lunch box had completely disintegrated, my umbrella had broken on one side rendering it basically useless, and I had literally no money to get a cab home instead. I stopped and moaned internally about my shit-uation: 'If I weren't an intern I would be able to get myself a cab home. If I weren't an intern I could buy myself a decent umbrella. If I weren't an intern I would be able to just buy lunch at Pret-a-Manger instead of carrying this stupid bloody lunchbox!'

I stopped, close to tears, and thought to myself: 'Is this all worth it?'
I'm quite good at feeling sorry for myself in these situations and thinking 'my life would be so better if...', but I don't think I'm alone. We all have a tendency to think about what could be better about our lives as opposed to what's good about what we're lucky to have, it's human nature, and you're not an idiot so I won't patronise you by thinking I'm the first person to have ever talked about it, but it's good to have a reminder about positive thinking every now and again. Recently, I've been trying to consciously see the good in every situation, so after my short meltdown, I rationalised it by remembering some people in the world walk several miles every day just to get water. So yeah, I don't have it all that bad.

I'm also a firm believer that nothing good ever came easily (see my last post). The one thing that made me laugh in that moment, was the idea that in years to come when I (hopefully) have my dream job, I'll be able to tell the story about the time I was an intern and walked home in the rain with a broken umbrella carrying a lunchbox. I knew at that point, physically, I had to keep going, but I think it's also an important lesson to learn mentally. Sometimes life chucks rain at you and disintegrates your paper bag and breaks your lunchbox, but if you don't keep walking, you'll never get to Kennington. So if Blue Monday is throwing some negative feels your way, you've just gotta keep on going.


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6 comments

  1. This was such an empowering post, you transmited me so much calm and hope for the times when you're in crisis. Thanks so much for writing and sharing it with us. I wish u a lovely week! and the outfit is lovely btw :)

    www.blossomikebana.com

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    1. Ah thank you Paula! I'm really glad it helped you :-) xx

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  2. Besides the positive message, the look is amazing!
    X.O
    http://www.audreyisaboy.com

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  3. Great post, I love reading bout ways to keep going and be positive
    xx,
    arelisapril.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks! Me too, it's good to have a bit of positivity when the world feels like a negative place at the moment x

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