How to Deal With Rejection


Rejection is something each person faces in their lifetime, and yet no matter how well you've suppressed your self-doubt, your douchebag brain still leaks the same douchebag thought every time you're metaphorically slapped back in the face: 'I'm not good enough'.

 I was once rejected for a job I thought I interviewed pretty well for (someone deflate my swollen head and feed me a dose of modesty). The job spec matched my experience, and it even utilised my uni degree (arts students will get how exciting and unusual this is).

Yet, two weeks later I received the same old, stock-phrased response that unfortunately on this occasion I had not been successful and the position had been offered to someone with 'slightly more relevant experience'.

Cue me doing everything in my power not to reply with 'FINE I DIDN'T WANT YOUR BLOODY JOB ANYWAY... that being said if you have any other suitable positions do drop me a line. Kind regards, Polly'.

It felt bloody rubbish, as it always does when someone is basically telling you you weren't right for them, be it a potential employer, boyfriend or girlfriend etc. So I did a little sad face and treated myself to some leftover Easter egg, like any self-respecting reject does.

But, how are we meant to deal with rejection in general when we are given little to no advice on dealing with feelings of insecurity and rarely offered more than a commiserating pat on the back?  Why don't we talk more about something ALL of us experience and take away the embarrassment out of admitting we've been rejected?

From my humble experience as a many-a-time-rejectee, here are a few tips on how to deal with this not-so-peachy part of life.


Cry for a bit, then move on
I mean, only cry if you actually want to, otherwise you're just unnecessarily dehydrating yourself. But seriously, it's OK to be upset and cry, as much as society tells you not to be a sore loser. You've invested a lot of time and effort into something only to be told it's not enough, that's upsetting! However, do get it all out in a short weep and then move on. Don't waste your precious moments dwelling on something you can't help, find something new to channel your efforts on and carpe that bloody diem, girl.

Understand that rejection is a part of life
As I mentioned before, EVERYONE at some stage in their life has experienced rejection. It's another little cross-stitch in the great tapestry that is being a human and makes you a more resilient character. Imagine how unimaginably spoilt and boring you would be if you got absolutely everything handed to you without a bit of a struggle?

Question why, and work on it
As often as I hear the phrase 'I ain't changing myself for nobody' in a sassy positive way, aside from the fact it's terrible English I kinda disagree with it. None of us are born perfect and like the way you practice a sport over many years to become better at it, in the same way it's good to recognise your flaws and try to work at becoming a better person. That might be interview nerves or getting defensive when criticised, but there's no shame in asking for a bit of feedback on what you might be able to improve on for next time.
HOWEVER, if you're asking this question to that guy who calls you at 3am for Netflix and Chill but won't see you at 3pm on a Sunday for a cuddle and a roast dinner, STOP IMMEDIATELY. The problem does not lie with you babes. 

Go boxing
Or whatever kind of exercise you prefer, but boxing is pretty great if you're feeling frustrated because punching stuff is so satisfying (hi, I sound like I have anger issues). Plus, exercise releases all dem endorphins for feeling tip top, so even if you feel like curling up in a ball and eating chocolate, get your heart pumping for a bit first and reward yourself with a dairy milk later. I promise it'll make you feel like Beyonce. 

Know that you are worth SO much more than just your job title
Unless you're one of the lucky few, most of us are muddling through in something that allows to do the things we enjoy and are passionate about. I really like working in events, but I'm also good at music, art, sport, making friends with people etc etc... your job title is just a small part of what makes you a great person! So be proud of who you are, not just who you work for.

Photo credit: weheartit.com

1 comment

  1. Great post. Something we all go through and probably don't take enough time to learn from before sweeping it under the carpet and moving on. Nice work!

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